Twenty-two years ago God blessed me with the friendship of a most incredible woman. D is one of those persons who always sees the bright and happy side of everything. I want to be like her when I grow up. D is always a bundle of energy. She is the sanguine to my melancholy. It is not at all uncommon for my cell to ring at any hour of the night and her voice will be on the other end saying something like, "Have you seen the moon tonight? You HAVE to go out and see the moon!" And me? I'm like - "Moon? What moon?" But I always stop what I'm doing, (or more likely get out of my bed), and step outside to look up at the moon. "Yep, D. The moon - it sure is shining. Now good night." My friend has been a very patient teacher and is slowly but surely succeeding in teaching her stubborn student to keep looking up. In 22 years we have experienced so much together. We have snuggled each others babies and now we are snuggling each others grandbabies. We have laughed till we've cried and cried till we've laughed. She has been so good for me. And I've never felt like I have been half the friend to her that she has been to me.
About two years ago through the midst of many difficult things, her marriage fell apart. She was devastated. But somehow, even in the midst of total pain, she kept her smile and her faith. Even then, while I thought I was helping her, she was helping me understand faith in an almighty and ever-present God would see you through anything. Even the things you fear the most.
At that same time, my brother S, who lives two states away was going through the same experience with his marriage. Even though my brother is younger than I am, I have always looked up to him. He is a man of strong faith and through the hours I spent on the phone with him during the most difficult of his days, his faith kept growing and growing and growing. It was agonizing walking this journey with him too. I couldn't fix anything. I couldn't make anything better. His commitment to his marriage was strong and to walk away from it is by far the hardest thing he has ever done. When we were little children I used to go to my room and cry for him when he was punished for something. Now I cried for him because he was hurting so badly.
While I spent hours on the phone with D and with S, the thought kept going through my mind. What a perfect couple. I could really see these two together. But I couldn't go there. I didn't suggest it. The pain was still to raw. They were not ready. But the thought would not leave.
Fast forward to April of this year. Unbeknownst to me S and D began playing Farm*ville. Apparently divorced people have extra time on their hands. Who knew Farm*ville is really a Dating Service in disguise? At first it was things like, "D fertilized S's crops" or "S gave D an apple tree". They started leaving little comments like "Thank you ma'am for the fertilizer" or "That was real generous of you". Somewhere along the way their comments started getting a little bolder - things like, "Your crops are looking really healthy" and "You are such a great farmer."
Soon the comments moved to private messages, then to texting, then to cell phone calls. How on earth did relationships ever progress in the pre-technology days? I noticed my brother was calling me less. I noticed D was looking really, really happy. What in the world was going on?
Last weekend, Sunday night to be exact, D called me and asked me what I was going to be doing on Saturday.
"Nothing actually, what's up?"
"Well, I was wondering if you would come to my wedding?"
Seriously, they got engaged last weekend and were married today!. You can't make this stuff up folks!
Is is too fast? Some think so. Maybe it is. But here's my take: I see two people who are not kids anymore. They have experienced pain at a level I hope I never have to. They know what they want in life. They have found in each other a person that will not heal them from their pasts, but will accompany each other on the journey to their future. They will laugh so much together. My brother will learn to look up. At the moon and many other good things. They will probably do themselves in trying to out serve each other. (Good luck with that S - I can already tell you, you won't win that one!) They will worship together - something that bubbles up naturally out of each of them. They will be loved as deeply as they love. It will be a beautiful thing between them. I really can't explain it, but something deep inside me tells me this is all right. It's good. I'm betting my money that they will be rocking their rocking chairs on the porch someday. Still holding hands.
It is still feeling so surreal to me. I am so, so, so happy for them. My SisterChick has become my sister-in-law. We never dreamt of such a thing. Our family is so blessed to have her - we will be a better family because of her. But I'm a bit sad for me. Because D now thinks because she is married to S that she has to move two states away to live with him. What am I going to do without her? Who is going to call me in the night to remind me to look up? Who is going to talk me into eating pimento sandwiches? Who is going to go to Women of Faith with me and work our tails off so we can get free tickets? Who is going to make me work out when we are trying to lose a few pounds? Who is going to read the next SisterChick book with me?
Ah D, you are going to be so missed. But you are also going to be so happy. And that my sweet friend, makes me happy too! I love both of you guys so much and pray God's very best blessings upon your lives together. May you live happily ever after!